O_o What In Tardation!?! o_O

The screaming. The crying. The yelling. The flaming toilet paper. These are the images conjured when we think of a prison riot. The inmates overpower the guards and take control of the very cage that held them. This was the scene today in Stormwind when crafty, clever, coniving, cunning, Bazil Thredd of the now defunct Defias Brotherhood led a revolt inside the confines of the Stockade. Despite his careful planning and the complete loyalty of most of the inmates, Thredd neglected to take into account some of the most famous prisoners contained within. Five of the most illustrious heroes the world of Azeroth has ever had the distinct pleasure of witnessing upon the field of almighty combat/battle just happened to be cooling their heels paying their debt to society for illegal use/distribution of Deviate Fish. WHAT IN TARDATION!

That's right! Despite their insurmountable power and influence, the extremely talented adventurers decided not to fight "the man" on this occasion and instead took a much deserved vacation in the dank halls of Stormwind's dungeon. Their sentence was 15 years but they would only serve a couple of weeks due to Thredd's untimely and ill-advised riot. Desiring only peace and quiet, the Tards were quite perturbed when the commotion began. Watching boredly from their cells as the Stormwind guards were routed by the half-naked criminals and driven from the Stockades in a fury of shed oppression. When the noise had died down, many of the prison's high-profile guests were released by Thredd and armed with all manner of weaponry. The Tards were left to languish, of course. Thredd knew well the horror they had inflicted upon the Defias stronghold in the Deadmines and thought better of letting these giants of the hero industry loose. But he choose his lieutenants poorly it seems.

One of the more prolific inmates was a heavy-set fellow named Hamhock. Being an ogre, his capacity for thought rivaled even the most dense of garden slugs. While doing his rounds in the early morning, Fellowyowler and Stabledancer enticed him to open their cage with offers of extended make-out sessions. Unable to control his urges (he'd been locked up a long time) he foolishly released the two Tauren. Once freedom had been gained the poor ogre got to make out with nothing but Fellow's punchasizing fist. Beaten within an inch of his life the dullard managed to escape to warn his boss. It was only a short time before the rest of the team had been freed, armed and suitably angered.

Giddy with freedom and a hefty slathering of irrational vengeance, the team set out down the long corridors of Stormwind Stockades slaughtering the shirtless denizens like a scythe of justice through criminal wheat. Despite the fact that they were ridding the world of some extremely horrible people, their only thought was finding Bazil Thredd and making him wish he had stayed comfortably in his cell. After all, who stages a riot without inviting the Tards? A FOOL that's who. A dead fool to be more precise. Thredd had taken refuge in a far corner of the jail with many a prisoner to block the advance of the super-team. But it was hardly a roadblock for them. Before long Bazil Thredd lay bleeding and dead before their feet.

Think not of their motives, dear readers. Simply thank them for ridding the world of yet another dangerous individual. There is no telling what sort of havoc a half-naked prisoner army could have wreaked upon the... oh who am I kidding... they beat up a chump...

On this day the day will live as a day of days today!

The clever folks of <What in Tardation> have graced The Barrens yet again with their unstoppable fury and mystical might! Too long have the porcine inhabitants of Razorfen Kraul plagued the Southern Gold Road with their oinking and their snorting and their wee-wee-wee-all-the-way-homing! And though they made their house of not bricks or sticks or even straw, but gigantic thorny thorns the Tards huffed and puffed and beat the ever-loving snot out of their little piggy snouts.

First to meet their untimely end was the Death's Head Prophet Aggem Thorncurse. It is unknown what sort of prophetic prohecies this prophet has prophecied, but it's fairly certain at this point that he didn't see Levittra's gigantic axe splitting his face in two.

Next was Death Speaker Jargba. Reportedly this ominous title means that he is yet another prophet of the Death's Head cult who supposedly think the great pig-god Agamaggan will some day return from the dead. Perhaps if these silly porkers weren't so busy waiting for Agamaggan they might have time to decipher the near future and avoid being slaughtered and eaten by the Tard's trained Ravagers. It is speculated that Jargba attempted to use his mind-control abilities on Fellowyowler, but was unable to locate anything resembling a usable mind in the cow's head.

Much deeper in the cavernous depths of Razorfen Kraul, the super-team encountered Overlord Ramtusk. With a mighty squeal of, "For Victory! For Agamaggan!" The Overlord charged into combat flanked by two of his trusty spear-wielding minions. One such minion was pelted into a bloody mass by arrows before he could even cock back his arm to throw his first javelin. The Tards made short work of the Overlord and his remaining guard and took a fine two-handed axe as spoils wondering why in the name of pig-gods the Overlord wasn't using such a powerful axe.

Deeper still into the Kraul after battling battalions of bats, the heroes encountered a group of pig-priests maintaining a powerful forcefield. After dispatching the uselessly weak priests, the team peered into the depths of the narrow cave contained behind the now-fallen field. With a mighty OINK Agathelos the Raging came charging at them. I gigantic boar the size of a gigantic thing, mad-eyed with rage! Joytard and Terzie the two hunters of the group immediately began playing rock-paper-scissors for who would get to tame the beast and cart it off to their stable. Unfortunately for them the mighty pig did not live up to it's colossal size and actually did not live at all. He was killed. Dead. With deadly death. What I mean is that he did not survive long enough to be tamed by either hunter so they couldn't make him their pet at all. Because he died.

Finally, they came upon the mistress of the thorny lair. Chargla Razorflank the crone. Apparently, aside from being the undisputed ruler of the quillboar she is also some sort of educator as well! The first thing she said when encountered was, "Troublesome whelps, I'll teach you to interfere!" The Tards thanked Chargla for the offer but as they were already interference experts they weren't interested in her instructions. She must have been running some sort of scam, however as she immediately demanded payment for the lessons saying, "You outsiders will pay for encroaching on our land!" It wasn't until the first lightning bolt shocked through the team that they realized she might not be a teacher at all! Stabbing, slashing, shooting, and biting her to a pulp quickly put any chance of figuring out what sort of financing options she had available.